Probably Gay


[Audio: English, Music; Captions: none; Lyrics: below]

Probably Gay Lyrics | Katie Goodman

“Katie Goodman brought down the house… brilliant!”

There’s a word called “homophobic”
But confusion as to how it’s used
It doesn’t mean gay folks are scary
Like they portray on FoxNews

It doesn’t mean you should be scared
They’re gonna destroy your way of life
And it doesn’t mean that if they get married
It ruins your relationship with your wife

What the -phobic part means
At the end of the day

Is not that your afraid of gay people
But you’re afraid that you might be gay


Yes, I’m sorry to be the one that has to say
If you’re homophobic
You’re probably gay (x4)

Hear me out, now. Case in point:
In 1996
In the Journal of Abnormal Psychology
They measured a bunch of guy’s weenies
While they watched porn on tv

All the weiners swelled up
Watching porn that was straight
But then the big surprise came
Showing gay porn to men that expressed gay hate

It seems the guys that were okay with gays
Were not aroused much by those scenes,
But the men that were homophobic
Had quite a bulge in their jeans!

“While only 34% of the non-homophobic were turned on by gay porn,
a whopping 80% of the homophobic men were.”


Yes, I’m sorry to be the one that has to say
If you’re homophobic
You’re probably gay (x4)


An Alabama Attorney General was rumored to sleep with a male attaché
And a Washington State Representative allegedly hired a gigolo for a lay
And a California Congressman was accused of giving his boyfriend a fat sala-ray
And an Indiana State Representative answered a gay ad for a sugar-dadday
And a Mayor of Spokane was having sex with men who were underage
And do we even need to mention foot-tappin’ Larry Craig?
Now what do these men have in common, you say?
Well they’re all politicians whose legislation was anti-gay!


They say they’re anti-gay!
But they’re really probably gay!
You’re letting everyone know you’re gay!
And if you feel the need to show the world
How fiercely you’re gay-opposed
Then you’re probably be better off
Just keepin’ your homophobic mouth closed!

Don’t be hatin’ the gays!
Why don’t you just go ahead and be gay?!
Some of our best friends are gay!
Everyone knows you’re probably gay

Although if all were responding to the straight porn, and then 80% to the gay porn, then it seems like they are PROBABLY BI…

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