OK. Birth seems to bring out the worst in some people. I have no idea why. I’ve watched this whole “birtherism” thing on the right with bemused fascination, at how some people just bat their heads on it over and over. I actually thought it pretty much died down to nothing, until Trump’s media circus has brought it up again. (And I mean, TRUMP? Trump. TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT?! If there was ever a sign that our presidential campaigns have turned into circuses, this is it.)
But I could be smug about Obama birtherism. Because you know, a lot of it is just coded racism. Hinting at his “alien” background, his “muslim” background, all of that is just code for “OMFGBQQ WE HAVE A ****** FOR A PREZ! APOKLISP RITE NAOW!!1!” It involves wacky right wing unhinged nuts who probably couldn’t find their own state on a global map. I can righteously sniff my educated, perfectly good leftwing nose over that train wreck.
But… The left has its own brand of birtherism, you know that? The ridiculous issue of Palin’s son Trip or Trig or whateverthehellitis. You know, the one born 8 months before Bristol’s Trip or Trig or whateverthehellitis. (My grandmother would always mix my & my sister’s names up — uttering the first syllable of one name and finishing with the intended name. So I was always Blue-er-Broweneyedgirl, and my sister was always Brown-er-Blueeyedgirl. In this case, one of them will be forever known as TripTrig and the other as TrigTrip, but I digress.)
We have a fairly vocal minority of people (a minority, yes, but when at least one of them is someone with the weight and oomph of Sully, it’s not ignorable) who are harping on the Palin conspiracy, you know, where she presumably pretends to have had the baby to cover up for someone else’s (presumably Bristol’s, except she inconveniently had her own baby 8 months later) indiscretion. And fine, it’s a kinda fun conspiracy theory, and there’s enough specific bizarre behavior around the baby’s birth to raise a number of eyebrows (even under the assumption she was pregnant and did give birth to whatsisname).
Except that demanding medical proof the baby is hers? How exactly is that different from demanding certificates of birth from Hawaii? At what point are you satisfied? Just as various different releases from Hawai’ian records have not satisfied the birthers, neither have the various statements from Palin’s doctors and such satisfied these left wing birthers. The fringe demanding proof here sounds increasingly like the batshit rightwingers, and I can’t ignore you nutcases, because y’all are on MY side of the fence! So much for thinking of all idiots as “over there somewhere” (waves at that imaginary liberal conservative lines) — I’m tripping on idiots under my own feet.
And, really? Really? This TripTrigWhateverthehellitis Conspiracy IS THE BEST YOU PEOPLE CAN DO TO UNDERMINE PALIN? Really? REALLY? Palin has done NOTHING AT ALL that y’all can pick on instead? REALLY? She hasn’t been involved in no end of shady deals as a governer, some of which are still undergoing investigation? She didn’t abruptly resign her governship over “pressure” and “lack of privacy”? She hasn’t gone off the deep end in half of her speeches, claiming to see Russia from her front window, or encouraging violent rhetoric with “blow ’em away” figures of speech? She hasn’t shown crazy batshit behavior in a dozen other contexts? There’s nothing else at all you can more credibly attack her than… this? Involving a child who, whatever else he may be, does not deserve to be dragged into any of this furor?
I have to give the Megan Carpentier/the Guardian a tip o’ the hat here for a phrase that’s destined to become an absolute classic on the ‘net:
In the stubbly nether regions of the internet untouched by Occam’s razor, a dedicated group of (mostly) men seeks to prove that the Palin family drama is more soap operatic than the family has already acknowledged.
And on that note…